God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
