i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
