the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
