sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
