There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
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