Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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