She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
