I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
