I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
