The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
