i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Acid is not a monday night drug
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
