Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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