I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
