Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
