why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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