Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
