Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
you are never too drunk for berry picking
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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