Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
