Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize
