yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
