I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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