You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
