My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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