She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Dignity is for republicans.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
