Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
