lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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