I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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