i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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