I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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