guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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