Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
