Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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