Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
