..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
