she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
