I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
