I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
