what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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