Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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