she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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