Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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