He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
