I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Randomize
