Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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