Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
