Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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