Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Randomize
