I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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