If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Randomize
