I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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