Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
