so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
