arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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