Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I think my fart just growled at me.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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