Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
birth control should be required to get into college
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
