I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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