He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
