she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
